ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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