i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.