Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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