yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"