I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place