According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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