Plan B is the new Plan A
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex