ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i think im in europe. pls send help
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.