just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
