Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
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I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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