Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
