i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
