The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
