Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
