we're blogging at a bar
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
