Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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