Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
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