Cold hands, warm shart.
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
