Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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