You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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