there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
