Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
