Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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