matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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