Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
