why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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