well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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