You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize