holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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