Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize