I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
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i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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