Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
