please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
