Quick, to the slutcave!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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