Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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