I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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