Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize