i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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