I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
