soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
