he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
