I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
