whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
