if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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