Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
