Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
