How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
