Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
