she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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