Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
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