There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
