Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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