A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
