did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
