shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
