her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
