How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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